Women and Care, Then and Now

In the 40’s, or 50’s of the twentieth century the common pattern was: the man was the breadwinner and worked 5 to 6 days per week, the woman took care of the kids and did all the household work. That was heavy and laborious work. Monday - laundry day began on Sunday and ended on Tuesday with the ironing, for example.

Then came more and more "help" for the household, for example, first washing machines and d later automated washing machines.
Also families were smaller  than that before the second World War.
The economy grew and women were increasingly working outside of the home, or continued working after having a child, often part-time, but also full time.
They stayed  the first responsible for children and housekeeping.

More and more young women got a good education or studied, and wanted to have a good career. The second wave of feminism came, women emancipated, (still not all girls and women!), there were crèches, day care  and the hope that men would do more housework  ...
Still,  with all the goodwill from many young men, the children and organizing the household remained the first responsibilities of women.

Moreover more couples separated, resulting in more single mothers.
This, or the presence of a (severely) handicapped child, meant that many women were limited in their career opportunities.
And yes, in many companies and institutions, there is still a difference in career opportunities for men and women, and / or the promotion of those.

In addition, our parents are living longer, even with certain health problems.
Moreover, society has become faster and more complex: "apply via ... @ info.nl," or for more information go to: www ......... com.
"Everything is bigger and more complex, new products come faster and in greater numbers on the market . Shopping in a supermarket brings many old people in a permanent state of panic. The vast majority of guidance and assistance to old parents is done by the daughters (in law).

Assistance with household in the foreseeable future will only be possible for those who have money and are able to organize, manage it.
Admission to a care or nursing home: fewer chances. Also, for example, after a stroke, or (still) not very serious dementia.
The help families with a severely disabled child get that keeps them going, and other facilities for disabled children is also depending on money. Just as the facilities for (young) adult with disability.
You know where I am oing? Who will be jumping in the holes? Indeed, even more care by  daughters / mothers.

All this does not bode well for (family) relations and the number of women with burn-outs and / or severe wear problems.
Continuing in the best possible career, until the retirement age, is difficult for many women, and thus building a good pension.

In this development is already ingrained that when the women now and/or in the near future who heve to give much care to old parents or a disabled child (brother or sister), will be aged 70 they will not be as healthy and fit as the over 70’s of  today are.
And what is their chance of getting good adequate care, care-tool or guidance?

And what about the older women (or men) who do not have children who can take care of them?
Who will, when necessary, stand up for them to the doctor, the hospital, the insurance company or the municipality, for example after a stroke, in case of malnutrition or dehydration, or of (beginning) dementia?
And who will help them with the household or groceries?

Who? You?


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Is schrijven ook letterlijk schrijven voor je

Wij zijn tegenwoordig allemaal gewend te werken met een toetsenbord van een computer of een laptop.
Daar maken en versturen we onze mail mee, studenten meken er hun werkstukken mee, en journalisten en schrijvers schrijven er hun artikelen of verhalen mee.

Toch hoor ik van veel schrijvers dat ze een nieuw werk beginnen met schrijven. Dat wil zeggen met pen, of potlood, en papier.
Nadat ze de eerste “draft” af hebben gaan ze er mee naar de computer.
Er is zelfs wetenschappelijk onderzoek gedaan naar het effect van het letterlijk schrijven; hieruit bleek dat de studenten die fysiek schreven beter presteerden.

Zelf doe ik dit ook: ik schrijf bijvoorbeeld dit stukje eerst met een fijn vulpotlood, en typ het daarna in op de laptop.
Veel andere dingen, langere, schrijf ik eerst met een vulpen. Blijkbaar is het gemakkelijk over het papier glijden belangrijk voor mij. Een balpen gebruik ik alleen voor korte notities.
De zogenaamde “second draft” en verdere versies, doe ik welhet liefste per toetsenbord.

Mocht je last hebben van een “writers block”, of een nieuw project, fictie of non-fictie wil maar niet op gang komen, of wàt je schrijft bevalt je helemaal niet, probeer het dan eens met een fijn (vul-)pen en papier.
Succes!

The Different Problems Women Have

There are certain problems women suffer from more often then men. Or that only women suffer from. Like:
poverty, certain health problems, menstruation, pregnancy and childbirth, finding a good partner (beyond their fiftieth birthday), having to care for an ill or handicapped family member, partner or parent.

To get good medical help (quickly) you have to be a man who has a job, or someone who is parenting young children. When you are an older woman (full-time job or not), almost no doctor will make a big effort to really cure or help you.
Some examples: diagnosis ‘hernia’; a younger male college: operation within six months after the diagnosis. His older female college, same diagnosis, her doctor: if it has not gotten better in two years, you can come back. Her pain got worse and worse, she was not allowed to stay home from work and had to do her normal tasks, including heavy lifting. She could get painkillers from her family doctor, which did not help.

Does this mean that an older woman, who is not having anymore baby’s is so useless for society that no one has to care about her and her suffering?And what does it mean: “no longer useful for society”? This woman still takes care of her autistic son, her brother who has Aspergers, and she spends a lot of time taking care of her 86 year old mother who has Alzheimers and is rapidly getting worse. All these hours will have to be filled by professional helpers when this woman could not do this anymore, which would cost a lot of money.

Now tell me, why are all these women who dedicate themselves to taking care of others so thoroughly ignored and invisible in our society?
A society that seems to just be focused on the people who make a lot of money and the people that are having (a lot of) young children (even in very over populated countries).

But if you are a woman earning a living for and taking care of your older (handicapped) child or children and yourself, all by yourself, you still won’t be taken as seriously in your career as your male college. Even if he has a wife who brings home a full income as well, every chance and or promotion will automatically be offered to him first.

The chance that your (net) wages will be quite a bit less than his is very big.
And she is probably doing more work than him too.
Women: I wish you good luck and a lot of strength!